Hello everyone,

Today’s topic is one that is near and dear to my heart. Upon further observation I have noticed that it is a common issue that plagues our current generation among all other things.

The expectancy of women to their significant others in a relationship has shifted from wanting someone genuinely to wanting them for monetary reasons. Simply put, most women see men as an ATM machine to dispense as they please, this in-turn trivializes the relationship and devalues it as well. Do not get me wrong, it is not wrong for a man to support his woman financially or want to spoil her; but it should be something that he WANTS to do… not something that is demanded of him from the beginning of the relationship.

Let me paint you a clearer picture, boy meets girl, boy asks girl out, girl and boy go out on two dates and by the third date boy is starting to look at girl lustfully, girl picks up on this and starts telling boy how she has an upcoming car-note to pay, and how her rent is almost due, and there’s this new purse that’s out… by the end of the date night, boy’s lustful desires have been fulfilled and girl has her car note and rent money in hand. Unfortunately this is the norm, the art of sharing a genuine connection is lost. This is not to shame anyone by any means, none of us are perfect and pointing fingers is not something I find tasteful… but this is just to make us women understand that by doing this as a woman you are devaluing yourself and thus limiting your capabilities, you are ultimately telling that man that you can be bought.

In reality: He is not your father that he is expected to provide EVERYTHING for you, what about what you have to offer? what else are you bringing to the table? Before making money an object in your relationship and ultimately loosing his respect, why not let him get to know you… the real you with all your talents, dreams and aspirations. If he fails to see all these wonderful things about you, then know that that’s his loss and you’re better off… good riddance to bad rubbish. Most times I find that ladies of our generation do this to keep up appearances, appearances that don’t even matter, for people that don’t even matter in my opinion. Okay, If you must keep up with the latest trends, fine… but do it with your own money, have something going of your own and be your own person! If you want a lavish life nothing is wrong with that, just make sure you can afford it for yourself.

Let’s not forget the men, the men that place money on the table as the first thing they have to offer ( yes these men do exist). I find that these men have nothing else to offer, they lack substance and they know it. I am very weary of such men and I do not feel they can be trusted, because if they can do make you that offer… then they’re lots of other ladies that they are making the same offer to. In their eyes, your not special… your just another piece of meat that they plan to devour before heading onto the next prey.

Ladies we need to take back our dignity and self-worth and redeem our name, let em know that you can’t be bought and then if hes a real man, hell show you what hes truly made off. Let’s lower our expectations not our standards.

Please share or reblog… let us raise awareness.

-Bisou Bisou

5 Comments on RELATIONSHIPS: Expectations Vs. Reality in a Relationship

  1. Farai Sixpence
    June 1, 2016 at 2:33 am (1 year ago)

    I love this, thanks for sharing Allen. I couldn’t agree more we need to raise more awareness on this issue especially with growing trend of blessers and blessies!

    • bybatee
      June 1, 2016 at 2:37 am (1 year ago)

      Lmao! How can we forget the blessers and blessies. Thank you for reading through babe, let’s raise awareness 🙂

  2. zubhie
    June 1, 2016 at 6:16 am (1 year ago)

    Definitely agreeable! I love the write up👌🏾 For discussions sake though, i would also like to add that just as u said that he is not you father so u shouldn’t expect money from him, in the same light, he is not your husband so he shouldn’t expect sex either, men out there should also learn that, n women shouldn’t be led to believe that sex is necessary, important or normal before marriage, let all things be done the right way. In all I guess I am trying to say amongst other things that the rules should favour/be fair/equal to both parties(men n women) n let us not consciously or unconsciously give men the ability to get away with things or remember the dos n don’t in a relationship only when it suits them.

    • bybatee
      June 1, 2016 at 7:20 am (1 year ago)

      True! Share it amongst your friends and let us see what they think. I’m doing a part two to this so let’s see what everyone is thinking.


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